I love those little catalogues that come through the post full of 'innovative' gadgets that promise to improve your life beyond measure for just £9.99 + p&p. It's not just the thought that somebody out there can find a use for battery powered socks or a gas fuelled lemon squeezer that fascinates me. I also like the imaginative descriptions which aim to make the smallest thing sound like a huge advantage.

This set top TV aerial has been dressed up to give the impression that it can pick up satellite signals. The description makes the fact that it can't sound like a positive advantage. It's masterful, I have nothing but admiration for the half dozen marketing executive who sat round with coffee and biscuits brainstorming this one.

Let's look at the claims a little more closely:

• Works like any ordinary rabbit ears.
  Can't argue with that, it is an ordinary rabbit ears aerial (with the addition of a cheap imitation dish and two phoney knobs glued on it). 
  
  
• Put one on every TV in your home.
  Yep, I recon you'll have to. 
  
  
• Works entirely via "RF" technology - to capture signals right out of the air!
  Big deal, so has every other aerial ever made right back to Marconi's prototype. Even so, it seems this feature is so astounding it warrants an exclamation mark.
  
  
• You pay NO satellite fees because you DON'T use satellite signals!
  Wait a minute, aren't they telling us it won't do the very thing it's been designed to look like it will do? Anyway, that's like saying "no bus fares to pay because you won't be using it on the bus" - (and this also gets an exclamation mark). 
  
  
• Not technical razzle-dazzle but a marketing breakthrough.
  Well they're right about that. If they can get people to part with a fiver for this they deserve some kind of marketing award.

Despite all the above, I was tempted to send off my £5 plus £3.95p&p. Imagine how jealous visitors would be when they saw this amazing piece of technology displayed atop my TV - and when I let slip in conversation that I don't pay satellite charges because I can't pick up satellite signals friends and relatives would be begging me to tell them where I got it.

But then I thought 'hell no - this is WoodyHill, I'm sure I can make one of those'. So, armed with the hot glue gun.

here's what I came up with...