It’s not every day that I get the chance to save someone from a life of crime - I should explain…

A few weeks ago I heard that it’s possible to sell anything on eBay (actually it’s possible to buy anything – selling is another matter entirely). So, having identified a couple of things I no longer needed in my life, I decided to give it a try.

It was with some trepidation that I created an account for myself and, despite the professed simplicity; I needed several runs at it.

The cover as listed on eBay

The tricky bit was where I had to enter my bank details and agree to an astonishing list of terms and conditions. The latter of course was presented in the usual Internet way, a small box filled with an endlessly scrollable string of indecipherable disclaimers. Happily the thoughtful folks at eBay made it easy to agree to everything without having to read any of it, by simply ticking a little box. But, it was the giving away of personal details that stopped me in my tracks several times. After all, are we not warned of the dangers of such actions with countless anecdotes of the unwary in newspaper articles and TV consumer programmes?

Anyway, without dwelling too long on the details, I managed to sell two things at a surprisingly satisfactory price. I even got some rather nice comments from my buyers, which made the deal even more palatable. Now, brimming with confidence, it was time to buy – and this is where the subject of this story really starts.

I had a notion that I could bid for a DVD at a reasonable price, watch it, and then sell it on, losing only the cost of the postage or possibly even making a small profit. The title I decided on was ’28 Days Later’ a film of the horror genre with some intriguing scenes of an empty London. When the bidding was over I found I had won the item for a total of £7.25 and wasting no time, sent off the cheque.

A postal strike was just coming to an end at the time so I wasn’t too worried when I didn’t hear anything for a while. Twelve days later (I couldn’t wait 28!) an email exchange began. Having seen the cheque clear through my account I asked the seller (Wayne) if he had posted the DVD. I got this reply;

Hi mick sorry for the delay, your dvd is in the post, u will receive it in the next day or two, thx wayne

The next morning a reply was waiting for me;

Mick send the dvd back to me and i will refund u fully, thx wayne

Okay you may say, fair enough. But wait, Wayne has criminal tendencies so why would he keep his word? Anyway, it looked like an opportunity to have some fun. Off went the next email;

Wayne, 

I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. You are selling illegal copies of DVD's. I will hold on to the evidence until I receive a full refund. If you include a stamped addressed envelope I will return it to you. In the mean time you may like to review your activity and I refer you to the following website.  http://www.fast.org.uk/

FAST, you may not know, is the Federation Against Software Theft, I thought a little pressure would not go amiss. Well, that seemed to upset Wayne a little because the next reply came back fairly swiftly;

The DVD had an unusual blue tint to it. The genuine ones are silver.

ok mick i have decided your not getting a refund, keep the movie and enjoy it, thx wayne :-)

The word ‘smug’ sprang immediately to mind. This was turning into something of a challenge. My young friend did not seem to have understood what to me seemed like a fairly thinly veiled threat, I thought I’d spell it out for him;

Wayne, 

I guess from your attitude and the style of your email that you are probably quite young and we all make mistakes. However, I'm not prepared to play cat and mouse with you. I expect a full refund (£7.25) within 7 days. If you enclose a stamped addressed envelope I will return your illegally copied DVD. 

I refer you again to the Federation Against Software Theft website and in particular this page   http://www.fast.org.uk/report/rept_sale.asp 

You should also be aware that your activities leave an audit trail on eBay and that you are not protected by anonymity. Any further correspondence from me will be copied to the other people who have complained about illegal software or DVDs from you. 

Finally, understand that I do not bare a grudge. I don’t care if you steal from others - I do care when you steal from me. I don’t need a smart reply - just put a cheque in the post and that will be the end of it.

Regards

Mick

I thought that was firm but fair. Just the right way to deal with a teenager suffering the hormone induced temporary insanity of his age. Actually, over night I wondered if I was perhaps being a little too hard but the following morning I have to admit to being a little surprised by the next reply;

Mick i have actually sent you a full refund in the post today, i give anyone a refund who asks for one but people who get stroppy i find it hard to deal with, thx wayne

Now, make your own mind up but I’d say I was dealing with a teenager. Two days later (No, still not 28), the DVD arrived. It was obviously a pirate copy; to be honest I had half expected that it would be. Oh well I thought, Caveat Emptor.

Wait though, this sort of put a damper on my idea of selling it on. Mostly you see I am a pretty honest kind of chap (some say I’ll never be rich because of it) and ripping someone else off would trouble me. So, it was time to fire off another email;

The DVD case was black. The genuine one comes in a red case.

Wayne, 

You have sent me a pirate copy of the DVD you advertised on eBay. I would like to think this was an honest mistake on your part. However, I see from your feed back that this is not the first time you have done this. 

Please let me know whether you would like to refund my money in full (£7.25) or send an original DVD of the film.

I will return your illegal copy if you enclose a stamped addressed envelope. 

I look forward to your early reply.

Regards

Mick

Stroppy? Me? The cheque arrived the same day with a first class stamp on it. It was time to enlighten him…

The cover was badly copied. The print was blurred and difficult to read. The edges were not trimmed properly.

Wayne,

Think about this for one moment please. What you did to me (and others before) was not nice. I made a purchase from you in good faith and received what amounts to stolen goods. You demonstrated that you are untrustworthy, in my position would you have sent the DVD back on the on the expectation of getting any kind of refund? 

I also find it hard to deal with some people, particularly if they are out to rip me off. I'm actually quite friendly but not so much when I've been conned. 

As a further act of good faith I will send back your disc at my own expense. I really do not bare any grudge, sometimes life is like this. Good luck. 

Regards

Mick

And so I sent it back - but first, curiosity got the better of me, I tried it out to see what the quality was like. Surprise, it wouldn’t play! A final reply came back;

thx mick nice to know you

Well there you are, confirmation, I am nice after all. Maybe Wayne isn’t such a bad lad either. During the following weeks, I could not help but check if he is still up to his tricks and I’m happy to report that so far Wayne has had nothing else to sell. I wonder, could our paths have crossed at just the right time for me to turn him from a life of crime? Probably not, but it made a good story.